Juicy Gossip

You have been selected to receive the fun email. Some people, like my parents and Aunt Harriet did not make the cut. But I finally have some juicy gossip worth sharing, that I think is more fun than reading about exercise-avoiding Peruvians. This is dedicated to Katherine, who asked for it.

Unfortunately, there has been no action in Chiclayo (thus the lack of earlier juicy gossip emails). Everyone is short and chubby and, I don´t know, I just don´t really feel like making out with them. Instead, I spend most of my time with my best friend William. But to avoid any awkward ¨i´m not interested in you´´ convo, I made up a Canadian boyfriend, so he´d keep his distance. For the most part, it worked pretty well. Until recently. Just before leaving Chiclayo he sent me a text message of an shocking variety. He speaks no english, but wrote: ´´you are special woman. sabia que nunca lo iba a decir, pero te quiero mucho. bye.´´ That spanish part translates to something like ´´i could never say it, but i really like/love you.´´ Geez louise, William. So... fun gossip, but now I need to find a new best friend I think.

So after being lonely in Chiclayo for so long, I was ready to go crazy on vacation! Which made for more hilarity. First of all, I was looking sooo forward to seeing other foreigners and speaking english again. But I think I turned into a total weirdo after being only with Peruvians for so long, because I forgot how to make friends in english and pretty much only hung out with the local artesans in this surftown called Mancora on the way to Ecuador. One was this crazy hippie (shirtless, shoeless, dredful) who I consider to be literally crazy. He kept talking about his past lives as a samurai, gladiator, inca, blah blah. Also fun topics: his special powers, UFOs, and messages in the stars. So obviously I asked him what colour my aura was. He said he could see it if we did a reiki session (wikipedia explanation here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reiki ) . So he starts with the reiki (which actually might not be the bullshit I assumed it was; it felt like there was some kind of magnetic force cursing through my body), which turns into making out. And when I was like, ´´yeah okay that´s enough´´ (because MOing with crazies doesn´t really do it for me either), he got really upset because I ´´stole his energy.´´ Then he acts all exhausted/drained the rest of the night. I´m not even making this up. What a lunatic. AND I still don´t know what colour my aura is.

Unfortunately, I have to go back to my ´´unhappy place´´ tomorrow. Chiclayo can continue feasting on my soul. But only for a short time because then I get Christmas vacations and will get to do some travelling again! Which hopefully means more silly encounters like this one.

Peace and love,
Amy